


Job Opportunities

by the_impardis



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Missing Scene, pidge is my girlfriend and i love her, prove this isn't what happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 04:57:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15235842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_impardis/pseuds/the_impardis
Summary: Pigeon smiled widely at him, revealing a small gap between her two front teeth.“Y’all hirin’?”Now if Duck’s life was a tv show or a movie or something of the like, he was certain this would be the cliffhanger moment that kept everyone interested in the ad break and keep them from switching channels. And give about three minutes for Duck to think of an answer to that minefield of a question.He didn’t get that in real life.





	Job Opportunities

**Author's Note:**

> the missing scene i DESPERATELY wanted to get out before episode 11 but still makes canonical sense hopefully and if it doesn't then i will create a new canon

Duck could admit that he wasn’t amazing at lying under pressure. Acting under pressure he could take or leave, but just thinking of a convincing lie to come out of his mouth when his first (already shaky) excuse didn’t work didn’t activate his chosen one powers or whatever in the same way a tsunami did. For some reason. So- fishing.

 

Pigeon didn’t seem incredibly convinced for some reason.

 

“Y’know, Duck, uh, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened that night. What I saw chasin’ me through the woods. Pete told me he got a real close look at it, swears up and down it weren’t no bear and I am inclined to agree. Now, Pete says he also seen you fight that thing off, gave him a chance to scurry away.”

 

“Mhmm.” Duck was not liking the direction this conversation was taking, in that he didn’t have any good explanation for it.

 

“Now, I’m also an avid reader of the local paper, and I ain’t seen nothin’ in there about a big beast terrorising campers out in the woods. That’s enough to make me assume that, maybe it’s not out there anymore. Maybe somebody took it down. So, I’ll make you a deal there, Ranger Duck. I’ll shut down the supply to the water park, I gotta be onsite for it to happen but I can do it. But you gotta satisfy my curiosity a bit. Because I think you got more going on than just protectin’ some trees out in the woods, not that that’s not noble work or anything but, I think you got something on the side. I think you are doin’ a bit of monster hunting. And if that’s the case I gotta followup question for you, I guess—”

 

Pigeon smiled widely at him, revealing a small gap between her two front teeth.

 

“Y’all hirin’?”

 

Now if Duck’s life was a tv show or a movie or something of the like, he was certain this would be the cliffhanger moment that kept everyone interested in the ad break and keep them from switching channels. And give about three minutes for Duck to think of an answer to that minefield of a question.

 

He didn’t get that in real life.

 

“Pidge, you uh,” Duck cleared his throat like he knew what he was going to say next which he definitely did not. “There’s a lot of what-if’s in that there monologue you just gave me. What if monsters exist? What if I, a Monongahela park ranger, decided to add to my already busy schedule fighting those monsters? What if my unrelated fishing predicament was a deception to stop another one of those monsters? Y’see how much you’re taking on faith when you're asking me for a job prospect?”

 

Pigeon maintained eye contact. Duck did not feel like he was in any control of this conversation despite his excellent argument he’d just made.

 

Pigeon didn’t blink. Duck took a slug of his coffee.

 

“Y’know Duck,” Pigeon began, still refusing to look anywhere but Duck’s face, “When you stack all your evidence like that it does make me sound a ‘lil nutty.”

 

“ _Thank_ you, Pidge. I’m glad you get that,” Duck breathed out. His ramrod straight back that had jerked up since Pidge had dismissed his lie relaxed slightly. “So about shuttin’ off the supply to H2Woah That was Fun—?”

 

“I just figured, y’know, cause you’re hangin’ around Ned Chicane and that magician girl you believed in that sorta stuff more.”

 

“Well I—”

 

“And what with you takin’ more time outta your rangerly duties to check up ‘round Amnesty Lodge which never has wildlife round it due’ta all the people there.”

 

“See the rainfall’s been—”

 

“And since it always has a ton of residents who we barely see in town that no-one can remember arrivin’ and keep to themselves so much, I must’ve just been imagining some conspiracy where there is none, right Ranger Duck?”

 

Duck didn’t relax in his seat under Pigeon’s gaze. “R-right, Pigeon. I think you and Pete just saw somethin’ out in the woods and now you’re try’na connect it to stuff that doesn’t connect.”

 

Pigeon nodded thoughtfully. “And that’s why that FBI agent came to City Hall try’na find Ned and then went off to Amnesty Lodge with barely a hello to the actual town, right?”

 

A pin could have dropped in the room.

 

Then Duck let out a deep sigh. “Shit, Pidge. Between this and that shotgun remind me never to get on your bad side.”

 

“Mama din’t raise no fool, Ranger Duck.”

 

“She sure didn’t, Pidge, she sure didn’t.”

 

Finally, Duck put his coffee down in front of his seat and looked properly at the young woman in front of him.

 

“Pidge, you understand that if I confirm anything you just said to me, I’m putting other people’s lives at risk, right? You mentioned Amnesty Lodge, and if you keep mentioning them to other people round here and put a magnifying glass over them you’re gonna hurt a lot of folks. Good folks, too, with nowhere else to go.”

 

Pigeon didn’t respond for a second. “But if you help them isn’t there still a chance they can get hurt?”

 

Duck bowed his head and didn’t answer.

 

Pigeon finally took pity on him. “Alright, Ranger Duck. I’ll shut down H2Woah That was Fun for ya, no more questions asked. What time d’ya need to be down there?”

 

Duck’s hat was covering his eyes, but his voice wasn’t as urgent as before. “I dunno yet. Got some people working that out now though so sometime tonight.”

 

Pidge nodded and drained the rest of her coffee, smiling slightly when Duck did the same.

 

“So, d’ya have a plan beyond me turnin’ the water off? Or just hopin’ that something’ll turn out in a good way?”

 

Duck managed a laugh at that. “Pidge, if you’re gonna know anything about what we’re doin’ here, you’ve gotta know that all of it is hopin’ something’ll turn out good. We’re kinda all idiots here.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. Earlier today when we were trying to get this water monster thing, Ned decided the best way to deal with it was to phoon into it. It didn’t work great for him.”

 

“Shocker,” Pidge grinned. “So is anything he’s got in the Cryptonomica real stuff? Like genuine yowie that I should check out?”

 

Duck stood up and put his mug in the sink in the corner as he spoke. “I don’t think so, kid. I already got Beacon and I’m pretty sure that dumbass sword was the only real magic in there.”

 

Pigeon shot up from where she was watching. “Wait, you gotta magic sword?”

 

Duck sighed deeply. It felt like he was gonna be doing a lot more of that with the crew he seemed to be running with now.

**Author's Note:**

> no betas no editing we post and die like men


End file.
